The topic of mobility and independence has come up a lot in my family since my grandma’s fall a week and a half ago and her subsequent recovery. Tonight, we came together to tell them that it may be time to consider assisted living. It’s a hard conversation to have, to tell someone that for their safety they need to give up their home and independence. It’s a theme that I’m personally familiar with.
I know I’ve blogged about it enough, so you know exactly what I’m talking about: my vision. If I had perhaps done the research, or asked the right questions, I would have been prepared for this side effect. I could have even brushed up on my old House episodes! Yesterday, I watched one where Dr. House kidnapped the lead male star in his favorite medical soap opera because he was convinced the actor had a tumor on his occipital lobe simply by studying the way he read he teleprompter. Hello! Of course, it ended up being much more complicated, but the symptoms were all there. That was slightly off the subject, but you get the point. If I had done my homework, maybe I would have expected to wake up with holes in my vision.
When I learned that my doctors were not willing to sign a letter saying I could safely operate a vehicle, I was devastated. And get this: I hate driving. Hate it! I got my license a year behind my classmates because the responsibility overwhelmed me. Traffic still drives me nuts. Merging makes me paranoid. Orienting myself on a new road brings out my neurotic side. So really, I could do without the driving. But, it’s what getting behind the wheel symbolizes for me that’s the hardest to part with: independence, mobility, freedom.
The kicker? The neurophtalmologist who deciphered my field vision test in September determined that my “injuries” were to the extent that I would never be able to safely drive a car. Really? That’s funny because I drove myself to the appointment and drove myself back home. And it’s not like the tech came running out screaming after me in the name of public safety.
If I don’t pass my test on Tuesday then it’s bye-bye license, and so long freedom (at least in the short-term). But that’s okay. I’ve had many friends over the past few months gently suggest to me that maybe, just maybe, I shouldn’t be driving. To which I would say, “What!? My vision is fine! I see great…when it’s not too dark, too light, when there aren’t too many people, when no one comes out of my left side, if no one moves too quickly, if everything is not the same color…I mean really I see just fine.” Wait… There might be something to their argument…
So it’s time to admit it to myself, just like my grandparents did in our family conference. There are certain things that I can’t do and I need to figure out a plan (you know how I love me a good plan). Somehow I lived in Chile for almost three years total and never once had the desire to drive. Obviously part of that was because I regarded drivers in Santiago as projectile nutcases, but it was also because the country (and capital city) was better designed for the carless than, say, the suburbs where I am currently.
That’s what I need. That’s the solution: a more permanent change of scenery to a city with better public transportation. I’m taking suggestions. Feel free to vouch for your city here. International destinations are accepted 
Of course I think the public transportation in Chile is top notch (except for the rising prices, overcrowdedness and generalize insanity of the micro drivers), but Washington DC’s metro (though not its buses, much of the time) is pretty great. It’s a cultural shift, neither north or south, and a touch of both, and a bunch of weird competitive one-upmanship and some racial tension, but overall, I lived there for something like 8 years, and it was pretty good to me.
Hope you find a solution that’s right for you, and I’m not actually suggestion you move back to Santiago. Also, for sheer joyous quality of life issues, Portland, Oregon is pretty great, especially if you don’t mind the rain, but you’d have to plan strategically. There is good public xport, but it’s also possible to need to get to places that aren’t that easy to get to. Will you be able to bike?
Santiago and D.C. are at the top of my list. I applied for a few jobs in Portland, but I also considered that.
Biking to me is akin to driving, I would only want to do it where there aren’t any people and in optimal lighting.
Sara
You sound determined, and that is truly good. Your planning is great-and taking it step by step. I know you are going to do well and you will make all the right decisions. Keep smiling !!!
I am like you…I HATE driving. Hate it with a passion. Buuuut. If someone were to try and take the choice away from me, I would be steaming mad. Because I don’t actually want to drive, I just want to have the option, you know, if need be.
And this, “projectile nutcases” = Hilarious. And SO TRUE.
I found Costa Rican drivers to be worse because there pedestrians do not have the right of way, or so I heard. What?! I found myself staring down many cars from the middle of the street!
I second DC. I lived here without a car for years. And, if you choose the right location, not only do you not need a car, but you can practically walk everywhere. You save A LOT of money. Of course, then your rent takes it all…
That’s the bad part about so many places that aren’t Santiago or Minneapolis: the cost. Oh well, it looks like it’s time for me to find a job that pays the bills!
DC! Yay everyone seems to agree! Like I’ve mentioned before though, DC can get price-y —especially if you want to live close to a metro station. To add to what Eileen mentioned about the bus system… it all depends on where you live. Some neighborhoods have tons of bus options, but then it also depends on WHERE you’re trying to go (and how long you want it to take. ha). I’m a Maryland ‘burbs girl and I started taking public transportation alone when I was 10 yo…. never had a problem getting around.
And besides, you will know people in the area (aka ME) with cars if you want to go somewhere off the metro lines.
You have so far been the most vociferous proponent of a move to DC, so we shall see. I’ll keep you updated! Your arguments all sound good