Wherein Yoga/Spanish Hilarity Ensues

Hey men, I’m sorry about the past two posts about women’s issues. Does it make you cringe internally a little to read? It’s okay to admit that. No judgement. Okay, okay…not too much judgement. And continuing… I’m going to shake things up with a post about, well, you saw the title, people.

In my yoga class, we sing a song (chant a chant?) before starting practice. It’s really the only time in Iyengar that we meditate or sit in prayer and worry about our breathing, which is fine with me because I’ve decided I’m allergic to meditation. But it’s in Sanskrit – a language that I do not currently count in my linguistic repertoire…maybe because it’s a dead language used mostly to describe yoga poses and Ayurvedic medicine.

Last week, the yoga teacher (the maestra who I kinda dislike) graciously offered to send us the song/chant and it arrived two days ago in my inbox.

Today, I got to class early and there were only two people in the room, the maestra and the substitute instructor, who I adored. The substitute immediately started chatting with me, asking me how I was, how I was coming in my practice. I mentioned, “Great, oh, I got the song (canción) in my email.” (Note: the conversation was in Spanish. I’ll try to help you along.)

“What did you get in your email?”

“The canción

They looked perplexed, but said, “Good for you, Sara! Good for you!”

Then, in hushed tones they said, “She should probably do gentle poses, less ab work, yeh, yeh, relaxing twists…”

The maestra peered up at me, “Can I ask what day you are on?”

“Uh…day? I haven’t learned it yet…”

“No, what day…day one, two, three…”

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

“You said you started menstruating (menstruación), your period, what day are you on?”

“No! Oh no! No, no, no! I got the canción! You know the one that we sing in the beginning of class?” I did my best, extremely awkward imitation, like playing charades, but with music and a tone deaf yodeler.

“Oh! The invocación! The one that we chant. I was confused when you said your period came in an email.”

*sigh* I would be, too. I would be, too.

And WHY did they congratulate me? GOOD FOR YOU, SARA!

I suppose if I had to announce my presence in a room by shouting, “Listen up, everyone! I started menstruating!” it would be in a yoga class filled with other women. However, I usually try not to do that. Usually.

Sorry, men. If you weren’t cringing before, you probably are now. Looks like I’m batting three for three on the girly issues this week. But I just made a sports reference! GOOD FOR YOU, SARA! GOOD FOR YOU! *Claps*

4 responses to “Wherein Yoga/Spanish Hilarity Ensues

  1. You said you were laughing reading my post? I was about to die laughing reading yours! I actually have a story on my blog about a language issue that happened long ago! Priceless!

  2. Hahaha, if someone congradulated me on having my period I would have probably slapped someone then cry profusely!

    But you… you handled it with a LOT more class!
    (Stopped by from SITS)

  3. Ok, I swear I commented on this – I’m losing my mind.

    This is hilarious! How funny!

    Sometimes I think this even happens to me here in Australia, I’ll say something and people don’t recognise the reference, so they just are like “oh ok great” even if what I’m saying means, “my dog died”.

  4. Oh my god. Sorry, Sara, but I really did burst out laughing there. Pahahahahahahahahahaa!

    That’s brilliant. Oh my gosh, that was too good.

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