The last time I wrote I was venting new-mom frustrations and since that was six days ago, you may have thought that Squeaker won and I am now tied up in the bathroom while she blares The Sounds that the Animals Make on YouTube and terrorizes Babysitting Cow, but not so!
Actually, he survived the baby-pocalypse, too.
And we’d like the thank him for being her punching bag until she can walk and throw things.
It’s weird when I look back at how my life has changed in the past year, you know, pre-Squeaker. I used to complain then that I had no time! Ha. Hahaha. Ha. Ha.
My new daily routine looks something like this:
- Wake up to a wiggly baby who would rather squirm and smile than get her diaper changed.
- Watch the smiles turn into frowns as she realizes the diaper change is taking longer than a nano-second and it’s suddenly dawned on her that she’s famished.
- Feed baby.
- Try to remove sleeping baby lump from lap and get things done around the apartment before she wakes up (anywhere from .1 seconds to one hour).
- This is the short nap of the day…
- Change baby. Watch her face light up as she has a diaper blowout.
- Get the bath water ready.
- Wash baby. Watch her poop in the bath water.
- Dry and feed baby bath monster.
- Try to go for a walk. This step must be executed with care because it can either be extremely relaxing or agitating if baby decides she is in any way uncomfortable.
- Baby falls asleep. Thank the baby gods.
- Bring sleeping baby back and try to be productive (work, blog, housework, cooking, whatever) until she wakes up, praying that this will be the long nap of the day.
- Baby wakes up after ten minutes.
- Baby is not hungry. Baby is not wet. Baby wants to be held.
- Read to her. Laugh as she slaps the chunky books.
- Calm suddenly screaming baby.
- Baby falls asleep inexplicably.
- Get sh*t done.
- Try to do a yoga video. Remember when you used to go to 90 minute classes in the studio? Now, feel relieved when you can finish a 25-minute video.
- Baby wakes up and slaps Babysitting Cow until he falls over. Poor Cow.
- Decide you’ve been about as productive as possible. Tomorrow will be your day.
- Realize you never got out of your workout clothes.
- Lose track of time.
- Forget to make dinner.
- Convince Daddy to go to the park because the walls of the tiny apartment are closing in on you.
- Take pictures of baby.
- Lather. Rinse. Repeat.